Swinging Into Laughter: A Hole-In-One Collection Of 250+ Golf Puns

Swing into laughter with clever wordplay and discover a hilarious collection of golf puns and jokes to share with fellow golf enthusiasts!

Let’s dive into the lighter side of our favorite sport with a fantastic collection of funny golf puns and jokes that will make you chuckle, groan, and maybe even roll your eyes.

Whether you’re an avid golfer, a weekend warrior, or simply someone who appreciates a good laugh, you’re in for a real treat! So, gather ’round the clubhouse, grab a refreshing drink, and prepare to embark on a journey through the world of wordplay and wit as we tee up a round of golf-themed humor that’s certain to score a hole-in-one in the laughter department.

Let’s swing into action and explore these hilarious golf puns and jokes that are perfect for sharing with your fellow golf buddies on and off the green!

Funny Golf Puns, Jokes, Riddles, And One-Liners

Whether you are looking for funny golf puns for Instagram, golf ball puns, golf knock knock jokes, golf one-liners or pick-up lines; we’ve got you covered!

“My doctor told me I can’t play golf.” “Oh, when did he play with you?”
The golfer’s favorite type of music? Swing, of course!
The golfer’s sandwich was a real hit – it was made with club bread.
When the golfer threw a party, it was a total hole-in-fun!
The golfer’s favorite type of candy? Caddy-canes!
When the golfer started baking, he quickly became a master of the scone-d shot.
The golfer’s favorite card game? Caddy-shack.
A chip of the tongue.
A chip off the old block.
A friendly golfer is known as a social putter-fly.
A golfer’s favorite bird is an eagle.
A golfer’s favorite dance is the bogey.
A golfer’s favorite flowers are fore-get-me-nots.
A good golf partner is one who’s always a little bit worse than you are.
A land par, par away.
A start of a beautiful friend-chip!

A stroke of luck.
Address the ball. Hello, ball!
All bets par off.
An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, it’s always possible to get worse.
Are you a scratch golfer? I sure am. Every time I hit the ball, I scratch my head and wonder where the heck it went.
Are you looking for the fairway? Because coming back to my hotel is the only fair way for this evening to go.
Are you sure you aren’t all four majors? Because you’d be a grand slam!
As par as the eye can see.
Asking fore a friend.
Bad? I’ll tell you how bad he is. In his bag he carries flares, a compass and emergency rations.
Bread and putter.
Care fore a spot of tee?

Careful there, putter fingers!
Catch me riding birdie.
Computers are good at golf because they have a hard drive.
Course-ive writing.
Did you hear that Subway is opening a mini-golf course at some restaurants? I tried it out, but it wasn’t very good. It was sub-par.
Down putt not out.
Everybody trap your hands.
Fairway to heaven.
Floating near the Persian Golf.
Flying on a golf-stream jet.
Fore-merly, she was a great golfer.
Get down and hit the fore!
Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf, and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.
Golf balls are like eggs. They’re white, sold by the dozen, and after a week, you need to buy some more!
Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.
Golf forth and prosper!

Golf is a fine cart.
Golf is a game where you yell four, shoot six, and write down five.
Golf is a game invented by God to punish people who retire early.
Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
Golf is a great course of fun!
Golf is a lot like taxes. You go for the green and come out in the hold.
Golf is a puzzle without an answer. I’ve played the game for 40 years, and I still haven’t the slightest idea how to play.
Golf is an easy game; it’s just hard to play.
Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles.
Golf is an odd game! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.
Golf is like life – you strive for the green but end up in the hole.
Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously, it won’t work…and both are expensive.
Golf is what you play when you’re too out of shape to play other sports.

Golf tips are like aspirin. One may do you good, but if you swallow the whole bottle, you will be lucky to survive.
Golf was once a rich man’s sport, but now it has millions of poor players.
Golf: A 5-mile walk punctuated with frequent disappointments.
Golfer: Hey, do you know where they are building that new Walmart? Buddy: No, where? Golfer: Between my drive and yours.
Golfer: Please stop checking your watch all the time; it’s distracting! Caddie: This isn’t a watch, ma’am. It’s a compass.
Golfer: That can’t be my ball; it looks too old. Caddie: It’s been a long time since we started.
Golfer: The doctor says I can’t play golf. Caddie: Oh, he’s played with you, too, eh?
Golfers always carry two pairs of pants in case they get a hole in one.
Golfers aren’t happy unless they’re teed off!
Gonna catch me riding birdie.
Good times as par as the eye can see.
Green and bear it.
Green there, done that!
Happy hole-days!
Have you ever wondered how the moon got craters? Three words: Chuck Norris golfing.
He sported a hole-istic approach.
He’s too fat to play. If he places the ball where he can hit it, he can’t see it. If he places it where he can see it, he can’t hit it.
Hole-d on a minute.
How about a spot of Tee?
How about grabbing two of your friends so we can play a foursome?
How do you know a golf player is cheating on his wife? He always puts his driver in the wrong bag.
How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb? Fore!
How’s golf like fishing? Both mysteriously encourage exaggeration.
I am Iron Man.
I am the golf-father.
I appreciate the in-fore-mation.
I came home to the wife in lingerie…She said I could tie her up and do whatever I wanted. So I tied her to the chair and went to the driving range.
I don’t say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they’d come up sliced.
I fore-give you.
I golf you on my mind.
I hate golf courses with too many trees. I go to great links to avoid them.
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s game: It’s called an eraser.
I have some caddy issues.
I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.
I like big putts and I cannot lie.
I like gangsta trap.
I love you with all my cart.
I told my buddy I got a new set of clubs for my wife. He said, “Sounds like a good trade!”
I peg your pardon?
I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games.
I play in the low 80s. If it’s any hotter than that, I won’t play.
I shot one under at golf. One under a tree and one under the water.
I will sit on the Iron Throne.
I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.
I’m not a bad putter; I just can’t catch a break.
I’m not over the hill. I’m just on the back nine.
I’m still working on my approach, but I think I have a pretty good swing.
I’ve seen better swings on a porch.
If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork as poorly as they do a golf club, they’d starve to death.
If I hit it right, it’s a slice. If I hit it left, it’s a hook. If I hit it straight, it’s a miracle.
If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don’t have to waste energy going back to pick it up.
If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.

If you golf on election day, make sure to cast an absent-tee-ballot.
If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or seven, he probably shot an eight.
In golf, you can hit a 2-acre fairway 10 percent of the time but hit a 2-inch branch 90 percent of the time.
In golf, you really need fore-sight.
In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft. Today, in civilized society, it’s called golf.
It doesn’t get putter than this.
It seems to me that, at times, the hardest thing about golf is being allowed out of the house to play it.
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do!
It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. It took one afternoon on the golf course.
It’s a strange world, isn’t it? You hire someone to mow your lawn so that you’ll have time to play golf for exercise.
It’s a tee-utiful day!
It’s alive, this swing, a living sculpture! And down through contact, always down, striking the ball crisply, with character. A tuning fork goes off in your heart and your balls.
It’s ball or nothing!
It’s club-bering time!
It’s good sportsmanship not to pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
Kiss my putt!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Amy. Amy who? Amy for the fairway-not the woods.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Andy. Andy who? Andy to have a water golf ball retriever for the round with you!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Annie. Annie who? Annie one know how many branches your golf ball hit as it entered the woods?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? I’d cry too if I played golf like you.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Canoe. Canoe who? Canoe hit one straight this time?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dozen. Dozen who? Dozen’t anyone repair their divots anymore?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harvey. Harvey who? Harvey gonna take 6 hours for this round- take your shot!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah golf pro who can fix your swing?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tahiti. Tahiti who? Tahiti hole in one, you need to hit the golf ball straight.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wanda. Wanda who? Wanda how deep your ball is in the lake.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wendy. Wendy who? Wendy ball retriever needs a new grip, you should give up golf.
Let it tee.
Let’s get this par-tee started.
Let’s par-tee!
Looking for my Trap queen.
Looking for the course material.
Love and res-peg.
Many golfers prefer a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot count, criticize, or laugh.
May the course be with you.
My wife said I play so much golf it’s driving a wedge between us.
Nice shot, shankapotamus.

No ifs, ands, or puts.
Not all men are created eagle.
Over the hills and fore away.
Oxymoron: An easy par three.
Peg and borrow.
Pressure is when you play $5 a hole with only $2 in your pocket.
Putter late than never.
Quit wasting time and puttering around.
Raise the par.
Real golfers don’t cry when they line up their fourth putt.
Real golfers have two handicaps: one for bragging’ and one for bettin’.
Remember the fore fathers.
Rule with an iron first.
Running a tight chip.
Shut up and drive.
Spread your swings!
Start of a beautiful friend-chip.
Stay humble and put your eagle aside.
Stop coursing!
Stop leering at my putt.
Strike while the iron is hot.
Swingin’ in the rain.
Thanks fore a great game.
That was a chip shot.
The difference between a whiff and a practice swing- no one curses after a practice swing.
The duke of hazards.
The golf of Mexico.
The Green-d Canyon.
The higher the handicap of the golfer, the more likely it is that he’ll be telling you what you should be doing to fix your game.
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
The most redundant thing on a golf course is a ball washer on a hole with water hazards.
The problem with your game is your loft. My loft? Lack Of Freaking Talent.
The way he plays, they should put the flags on the greens at half-mast.
The worst day on the course is better than your best day in the office.
Three ways to improve your golf game are: take lessons, practice constantly….or start cheating.
There’s no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies.
The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest golf cart never has to play the bad lie.
This guy spends more time in the sand than David Hasselhoff.
This is all fore the best.
To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly.
To tee or not to tee.
Traveling around the golf coast.
Un-fore-gettable, in every way.
We be clubbin.
What a load of trap!
What are the four worst words you could hear during a game of golf? “It’s still your turn!”
What did Chamillionaire say when he came in a stroke under par? “Tryna catch me riding’ birdie!”
What did Master Yoda say when Luke sliced the ball onto the next fairway over? “May the ‘Fores’ be with you!”
What did one golf ball say to another golf ball? See you ’round.
What did the golfer say to the hip-hop dancer? Every day I’m Schauffele.
What did you get on your last hole? Depressed!
What do golfers do on their days off? Putter around.
What do you call a lion playing golf? Roarin’ Mcllroy.
What do you call a wizard who can turn himself into a golf club? Harry Putter.
What does a golfer like to hear from his wife? “Talk birdie to me.”
What does a golfer’s diet consist of? A lot of greens and water.
What is a golfer’s favorite dance move? The bogey.
What is a golfer’s favorite drink? Tee.
What is a golfer’s worst nightmare? The Bogeyman.
What is the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? When a golfer lies, he doesn’t have to bring anything home to prove it.
What should NASA do if it wants to explore the water on Mars? Send a golfer there to hit a golf ball.
What should you do if you’re caught in a lightning storm during a round of golf? Hold your 1-iron up high because even Mother Nature can’t hit a 1-iron.
What’s a golfer’s favorite bird? Any birdie will do.
What’s a golfer’s favorite letter? Tee.
What’s one tip all golfers should follow to improve their game? Go back in time and start playing at a younger age.
What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A bad golfer goes, “WHACK… Dang! A bad Skydiver goes, “Dang…WHACK!”
What’s the difference between a g-spot and a golf ball? A guy will spend 10 minutes trying to find his lost golf ball.
What’s the easiest shot in golf? Your fourth putt.

When golfers aren’t golfing, they putter around.
When golfers make golf jokes, are they meta-forces?
When is it too wet to play golf? When your golf cart capsizes.
Where can you find 100 doctors on any given day? A golf course!
Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night? Clubbing!
Where do ghosts play golf? On a golf corpse.
Where do golfers go on their dates? The golf ball.
Which actress is good at golf? Minnie Driver.
Which pro golfers can jump higher than the flag? All of them….the flag can’t jump…
While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
Who’s the best person at the golf course to get to make coffee? The groundskeeper!
Who’s your caddy?
Why are computers good at golf? Because they have hard drives.
Why couldn’t Cinderella play golf? Because she always runs away from the ball.
Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course? He was perfecting his swing.
Why did the golfer change her socks? Because she had a hole in one.
Why didn’t the golfer finish his homework? He couldn’t stop puttzing around.
Why do golf announcers whisper? Because they don’t want to wake up the audience.
Why do golfers always carry a spare pair of trousers with them? In case they get a hole in one.
Why do golfers hate cake? Because they might get a slice.
Why do the pros tell you to keep your head down during golf lessons? So you can’t see them laughing.
Why does the temperature on the course rise after a long tournament ends? All the fans are gone!
Why don’t grasshoppers play golf? They like cricket better.
Why isn’t golf played in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs.
What type of golf game did the fur traders play in the old days? A skins match.
Why was Cinderella such a terrible golfer? Her coach was a pumpkin.
Wife: You spend far too much time concentrating on golf! Do you even remember the day we got engaged?!
Husband: Sure I do. It was the same day I shot even par.
You are my cup of tee.
You are tee-riffic.
You drive me crazy.
You e-putt-omize everything good about golf
You should always try before you buy, especially when buying a putter. Never buy a putter until you see how well you can throw it.
You’re the best, by par!
You’ve just got one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you’ve hit it.
Your putt looks great in those greens!

Golf Birthday Puns

Now let’s explore a special collection of golf puns – hilarious golf-themed birthday puns perfect for birthday cards! Get ready to make a birthday wish and swing into a collection of clever, golf-inspired wordplay perfect for adding humor to any golfer’s special day!

Happy birdie-day!
Have a tee-rrific birthday!
Happy birthday! Time to par-tee!
Have a tee-rific birthday! Wishing you fairways to heaven and no hazards in sight!
Hope your birthday is a hole-in-one celebration filled with lots of birdies and no bogeys!
On your birthday, may your drives be straight, your putts be true, and your cake be extra sweet!
Happy birdie-day! May your year be filled with eagles, birdies, and plenty of rounds on the green!
Wishing you a par-fect birthday, filled with lots of chip-ins and no sand traps!
Birthdays are like golfing – it’s a lot more fun if you don’t keep count.
I thought I’d give you a birthday card with a golf pun, but they were all tee-rrible!
When is a birthday cake similar to a golf ball? When it’s sliced!
Happy birthday! I bought you some new shoes since I heard you got a “hole-in-one” during your last round.
Your age – the only thing going up faster than your handicap. Happy birthday buddy!
One year closer to being eligible for the senior golf league. Happy birthday!
What are you doing FORE your birthday? I’ve got an idea!
You’re not “over the hill”; you’re on the “back nine”. Happy birthday!
Your head is starting to look more and more like a golf ball – bald and dimpled. Happy birthday!

As we wrap up this pun-filled journey through the fairways and greens of golf humor, we hope these clever golf puns and jokes have made you smile and brightened your day.

Remember, sometimes the best way to enjoy our beloved sport is to embrace its lighthearted side and share a laugh with fellow golfers.

So, go ahead and spread the cheer by sharing these golf puns and jokes with friends, family, and playing partners. Until next time, keep swinging, stay positive, and let the laughter be your ultimate hole-in-one!

If you enjoyed these golf puns and want more laughs, check out our collection of puns and jokes below.

Explore More Funny Puns And Jokes

Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you enjoyed this collection of golf puns and jokes!

Magda

xoxo

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