06 Jul

Laugh out loud with the tastiest collection of onion puns and jokes. From savory to silly, this blog post will make you cry tears of joy!

Onions are a nutritious, versatile, and tasty vegetable that is widely used in cooking and offers a variety of health benefits, such as boosting the immune system and promoting healthy digestion.

However, besides being a tasty ingredient in your favorite recipes, onions are also the source of some great puns and jokes. So, let’s peel back the layers and dive into some of the best onion puns and jokes out there!

While some people may cringe when they hear the word “pun”, others love them for several reasons:

  • Puns are playful, can evoke a sense of humor, and bring a smile to people’s faces.
  • They often involve a play on words, which can be clever and creative, making them fun to listen to and share with others.
  • Puns can be a form of word play that challenges people’s mental agility and ability to think outside the box.
  • They can be a form of social bonding, as people can enjoy puns together and share a laugh.
  • They can be used to make light of a situation or to diffuse tension, making them a valuable tool in conversation.
  • Puns are a simple and enjoyable form of humor that has a universal appeal and can bring joy to people of all ages and backgrounds.

The onion puns and jokes featured in this post are perfect for any dinner party or gathering. They’re a-peeling, funny, and sure to bring a smile to everyone’s face.

So get ready for some healthy dose of humor about everyone’s favorite vegetable!

Peeling Back the Layers: The Best Onion Puns And Jokes That Will Make You Cry (With Laughter)

best funny onion puns jokes

  • A chef asked me to check the balance of the chili and onion in a soup……so I pushed it over!
  • All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
  • Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
  • What do you call an onion that enjoys karate? A chopped onion!
  • How does the fireman onion propose to his girlfriend? With a crispy onion ring!
  • At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying, “Shallot!”.
  • Did you hear about the mischievous green onion that sang hip-hop? He was a real rapscallion.
  • For the last few weeks, I have been receiving an onion joke in the mail every day. I don’t know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.

best funny onion puns jokes

  • Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider? It’s called Shallot’s Web.
  • How do Korean onions greet each other? “Onion-haseyo!”.
  • How do onions propose to their girlfriends? With onion rings.
  • How should you bury an onion? In a shallot grave!
  • I applied to join a competitive onion-chopping team but I didn’t make the cut.
  • I beat my rivals by inventing the world’s first book made from onion skin. Read it and weep!
  • I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions!
  • I have a pogo stick made out of vegetables. It’s a spring onion.
  • I never asked for your opi-onion.
  • I saw an onion ring. So I answered it.
  • I used to sell loose onions until I got the sack‬.
  • I was at the supermarket and I picked up these little odd-shaped onions. When I got home, my wife asked whether she should use them for dinner tonight. I replied, “Yes, but they’re quite strong, so don’t use shallot.”
  • I was out driving the other day and I spotted two packets of cheese & onion crisps walking down the road. I said, “Do you want a lift?”. “No thanks”, they replied, “We’re Walkers”.
  • I’m allergic to green onions. Every time I eat them, I break out in chives.
  • If you cry when you cut an onion, here’s a tip: don’t get emotionally attached.
  • In the history class, the onion teacher taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
  • My friend said that onions are the only vegetable that makes him cry. So I threw a pumpkin at him.
  • My friend thought he was factual when he said that onions are the only vegetables that make one cry. He hadn’t yet tasted the vegetable salad that I had made for him.

best onion puns, jokes, one-liners, riddles, and pick-up lines

  • My girlfriend had tears in her eyes when I proposed to her, probably because I used an onion ring.
  • My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions. He’s still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
  • My wallet is like an onion. Whenever I open it, my eyes tear up.
  • My wife’s an abysmal cook. She tried combining corned beef, onions, and potatoes. She made a right hash of it.
  • On which website will you learn about the hidden gossip and secrets of the onion world? On Wiki-Leeks.
  • Onion-matopoeia – words that sound like onions.
  • Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
  • Spring onion is a bouncy root vegetable.
  • The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it ‘Chives Talking’.
  • The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn’t have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.

best onion puns, jokes, one-liners, riddles, and pick-up lines

  • What did the wedding cake say while it was cutting an onion? I’m in tiers.
  • What do hedgehogs eat? Prickled onions!
  • What do you call a communist onion? A red onion!
  • What do you call a hobbit with a healthy appetite? Lord of the Onion Rings.
  • What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
  • What do you call an onion that just hit puberty? A blooming onion.
  • What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? A spring onion!
  • What do you call an onion that won’t hold water? A leek.
  • What do you call an onion that decides to be eco-friendly? A green onion.
  • What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
  • What do you call the event when the entire onion family gets together? A family reonion.
  • What do you call the onions, which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
  • What do you get if you eat beans with onions? Teargas!
  • What do you say happened to an onion that got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
  • What do you say to a small onion that has helped you? “Thanks shallot!”
  • What does an onion say when you are upset because of it? It says, “I am sorry that I made you cry!”
  • What does the onion say when you knock on their door? “Come on ion!”.
  • What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, “You shallot pass this bridge!”
  • What is a charged vegetable that’s never off? On-ion.
  • What is the favorite color of onions? It’s o-neon.
  • What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
  • What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
  • What’s an opinion without 3.14? An onion.
  • What’s round, white, and giggles? A tickled onion.

best onion puns, jokes, one-liners, riddles, and pick-up lines

  • Where did the onion find his family history? In the ar-chives!
  • Where do onions fight? In the onion ring.
  • Where do onions go when they want a few drinks? The salad bar.
  • Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
  • While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears.
  • Why do onions have a poor self-image? Because people cry when they get onions naked.
  • Why does Mr Potato Head have a mobile? In case Mr Onion Rings.

Why are these onion puns so funny? Because they’re a-peeling!

Why did the onion call the police? Because it got sliced!

Why did the onion cross the playground? To get to the other slide!


Whether you love or hate them, you can’t deny the humor in these hilarious onion puns and jokes!

If you want more laughs, check out our other puns and jokes below.

Explore More Puns And Jokes

Our large collection includes puns about other vegetables, plus lots of funny food puns, animal puns, and more. Enjoy!


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