Zoo Miami’s VIP tour comes with a personal tour guide, golf cart and lunch


Zoo Miami is a great place to get in touch with nature and, of course, see all the animals, but in the SoFlo heat, it can get a little hot and sticky. Deco’s wild animal Alex Miranda is telling us how to beat the heat and all that walking.

I don’t know about you, but my natural habitat is never hot and sticky.

Well, with only a few exceptions, but Zoo Miami has it made it the shade for guests who want to feel like the kings and queens of the jungle.

Hakuna matata, it means no worries, and so does a wildly comfortable new experience at Zoo Miami!

Ron Magill, Zoo Miami: “Now, you can have a VIP tour with your own personal guide, your own personal covered golf cart.”

Let’s cut to the chase. We’re talking shade and break for your legs!

Ron Magill: “Laying back, hands behind your head, having a guide point out all the things that you need to see.”

Alex Miranda: “Hey, David. Where’s the bathroom?”

David Forte, tour guide: “That way…”

Alex Miranda: “OK!”

David Forte: “Let’s go.”

For two hours, it’s the greatest hits of the animal kingdom.

Alex Miranda: “Oh, my gosh! Look at his tongue!”

David Forte: Watch out, she’s going to take all your food!

…from your very own golf cart.

Nathan Lane (as Timon): “Take Pumbaa, for example! Why when he was a young warthog…”

Alex Miranda: “If I was a young warthoooooog!”

Close enough.

Alex Miranda: “I love those tiny cute little monkeys! Can we see those?”

David Forte: Of course! We have something quite like that, so right over here we have the silverback gorilla, the largest of the great apes. They can weigh up to 500 pounds, and if they were to go to the gym, they can easily lift over 200 pounds.”

I don’t think he heard me.

Ron Magill: “These guides are fabulous people. They really know the zoo. They know the animals.”

David Forte: “There are different types of species of a tiger. The largest species is actually much larger than a lion.”

What?! King of the jungle, my…

Nathan Lane (as Timon): “Pumbaa, not in front of the kids.”

Ernie Sabella (as Pumbaa): “Oh, sorry.”

You’ll learn maybe even too much information?

David Forte: “Well you know how us humans sweat liquid?”

Alex Miranda: “Yeah.”

David Forte: “They sweat mucus.”

Alex Miranda: “Oh, so that’s…”

David Forte: “Yeah.”

Alex Miranda: “Yeah, no thanks.”

Tickets are $89 a person and come with…

Alex Miranda: “Ooh! The options look so good! I’ll have a double cheeseburger and cheese fries.”

Lunch! [Roar sfx] Although…

Alex Miranda: “Does this include beer? All right, I’ll just go with a Pepsi, please.”

Ron Magill: “And it really is personalized. You’ll get to feel kinda like you’re the director of the zoo.”

But, don’t let it get to your head.

Alex Miranda: “Suckas!””

Guys: “What?”

Your complimentary lunch comes with a souvenir cup, and you’ll want to book ahead because the VIP experience sells out often.


Zoo Miami
12400 SW 152nd St.
Miami, FL 33177


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